Near Death and Random Bits

What's been happening over the last few days? Well,

I nearly died in the bathtub. Those damn things really are pretty slippery when wet. I stepped in, my right foot slid chaotically, my left shin smacked against the step that leads into the tub. In the semi-violent chaos, all akimbo, nude, teetering on the edge of balance I found myself simultaneously laughing at the absurdity of the moment while being terrified and thinking, “Are you kidding me?! This is it? I'm going to die in a bathtub?!”  Thanks to my ninja-like reflexes, I obviously did not die in that incident. However, I did get a nasty bump and a bruise on my shin; which is so much more preferable to being found dead in a bathtub, ass up and naked for the world to see.

What else? Ahh, I woke up thinking about people and their peculiar behaviors. I was thinking about one person in particular who I feel is acting weirdly when I had this profound chat with myself:

Self: So and so is being weird.

Inner Self: Welp, it's so and so's prerogative to BE weird. We're all allowed to be weird.

Self: Hmmm. Yep. Fuck so and so.

I share that to share this: We've all had those moments when we noticed someone in our life being odd. Maybe they were acting like an ass or maybe like the above mentioned person, just kind of weird. So we think to ourselves, “Wow, he/she is acting (fill in the blank).” That's fine, but what many of us also do is follow up that statement with, “I wonder why?” Don't do that. Do not wonder why. Just remind yourself that people are what they are and move on. Too often we get caught up trying to figure out the why of people and that often leads to trying to make it better or fix them. Stop it. Contradict Nike in this instance and just don't do it. If a person wants or needs you, they will ask and if they don't, that's their fault and their problem. I think I'm preaching to myself, but maybe you needed to read it.

Of course I ran. I'm not up to snuff (Isn't that an odd word? I believe in addition to meaning "up to standards" it can also mean kill. Ponder that for a moment) yet, but I'm running and that feels really good. In addition to my own running I'm helping Shane's girlfriend (who from now on I will simply refer to as my friend, because she is) with her Couch to 5K program. And by "help her" I mean I accompany her on her runs. It's been a good time for me. She and I run at a similar pace and can chat a bit while we run. That's a novelty for me. I've never had a running companion before. I greatly enjoy the companionship and the encouragement. If I start to slow my pace I'm aware of it because I see her pulling ahead and that gets me moving again. Balance.
Not only is she a good running partner she's a lot of fun to drink margaritas with. My boy chose well.

And so until next time-- please use caution when entering or exiting the tub, fuck the so and so's and keep running! 

Wooooooooooooo-- Freaking-- Hoooooooooooooo!

Today I got home from work and I knew, injury or not, I needed to run. I needed to get sweaty and feel the joy of movement and at that moment I didn't care if it hurt. I don't know if it was a reprieve from some God of Running, God himself, the Fates or what, but I had no pain and I ran a 9 minute mile. Party people? My fellow sojourners on this wacky path to athleticism? May we take a moment to offer up praise and rejoice in this accomplishment? Wooooooooooooo-- Freaking-- Hoooooooooooooo! I'm not sure if I'm more pleased by the lack of pain or the speed with which I ran that mile. Regardless, I'm happy and I feel good.
I only covered about 2 miles and for the last bit of that, in an effort to be kind to my leg, I alternated between running and walking. I'm going to rest tomorrow and then go do it again on Friday or Saturday.  Little by little I'll increase my distance and just see what happens.
Offer up your feel good healing vibes, prayers, whatever it is you do and send them my way. I want to keep running. I want to keep becoming. I'll never stop trying to become something, evolving, but man I'd like that something to include "runner."

A little weight gain and a couple of F*ck Yous"

Soooo, I haven't been posting because I haven't been able to really run. Stupid leg/knee/ITBS thing has kept me sidelined. In addition to this, about a month and a half ago I got a job. The job is great, I'm happy to have it, but it has seriously cut into my tennis time. Yeah, I know. Spoiled much? Anyway, the bottom line is this: No running, plus less tennis, plus a fairly sedentary job = a slightly aggravated and heavier me. Broken down even more simply: Much less activity = Me gaining weight for the first time in over 20 years. Oh and I get a little wild inside when I'm not having enough of a physical outlet. Makes for interesting thoughts...which I might elaborate on sometime.

Back to the weight thing. It's only a couple of pounds and no one looking at me would know anything has changed, which is great. I can gain a few and still be what some would consider underweight. I don't care. I like me this way. I have never tried to be anything other than what I am. I do not diet. I do not watch what I eat. I do not avoid alcohol or dessert. Hate me yet? I've been slender for most of my life and I like it that way. You might now be saying, "So what's your problem?" Let me tell you.

For basically my entire adult life people have been telling me, "Just wait till you get older. You'll gain weight then!" And they have always said it with this sort of odd glee. Like they couldn't wait for it to happen to me. Me, being me, always said in reply, "Nope! Not gonna happen to me!" while inwardly I was saying, "Fuck you! No it won't!" Well, what do you expect? Its like people want me to get fat. It annoys me.

So here come these couple of pounds and I think, "Damn. Is this it?! Have they cursed me?" Suddenly instead of being fine with a couple of extra pounds I'm wondering if its the beginning of the end of my nonchalant attitude concerning weight gain. And let me tell you, I don't like it. I don't like that other people's weird need for me to gain weight has gotten into my head and you know what? I'm putting an end to it.

Yeah, I gained a couple of pounds and its because I've been sidelined, not because I've *gag* gotten older. I hope I'll have the luxury to continue to get older and I will do it in style. My style-- fit, happy and periodically wallowing in dessert and even more frequently in wine. Should more pounds have the audacity to creep in, I'll step up the physical activity. If I can't run, I'll walk. I'll kayak. I'll swim. I'll have even more sex. Ha. Whatever, I'm not giving all of the "...just wait and see" people the satisfaction of being able to say, "I told you so." Rather, I'll keep saying, "NOPE! Not me!" while thinking "Fuck you."