Saturday, March 12, 2011

Blathering silly anxiety and indecision

The moment I completed my first 3 miles I wanted to go run an official 5k. At that moment I was suddenly terrified something would happen-- an injury or illness--- and I wouldn't be able to run for a week or more. If that were to happen I am convinced I'd lose all momentum, everything I've so recently gained and have to start all over again. I'm so new to running my base feels fragile. It makes me feel vulnerable.  I've been able to "train" (c25k) 3 times a week for the past 9 weeks. I haven't gone more than 2 days without  running in the past 9 weeks. I'm not sure how long I have to run-- how many weeks, months-- before it will be ingrained in my body memory. If, for some reason, I was unable to run for a week when I was once again able to run, would it feel like starting over or is my base firm at this point? I don't want to have to find out. I really don't want any setbacks or do-overs.
I wonder if any other new runners have felt this way? Is the idea of losing what you've gained as bothersome to you as it is to me? I wonder how long you have to run before you feel like you've arrived and a break doesn't mean you'll lose ground?
And yes, I'll confess-- when I ran on Friday the pain in my upper right thigh/groin came back and made the run uncomfortable and slower than I'd have liked. To keep to my schedule I really ought to run tomorrow, but I'm kind of worried about that leg muscle. However, if I don't run tomorrow I won't be able to until Tuesday and I'm afraid if I wait that long it'll be harder than normal. Sometimes even after 2 days its a little more of a struggle.
Blah. I want to do what's best for me-- run or rest-- but I'm so new to this, I have no idea which is best.

4 comments:

  1. I think you have to take it in "stride". I've found it best to listen to my body. It can be hard to get back to it after a few days off, but it's far worse to aggravate an injury. Stay focused on your goal; you will still attain it, just a little delayed. I always have a plan but I also have to be flexible. Having a running partner or others runners to encourage you will always be a great help. Good luck.

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  2. You're right, of course. I do need to listen to my body, but with running I'm not sure what its telling me just yet. With tennis (play a lot of tennis) I know what aches or pains are playable and which mean I need to take time off. With running, I'm not sure which pains I can run through and which are telling me to chill out a bit.

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  3. Just found your site and have been reading and catching up. I started training for a 5k in January after having never been a runner. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
    I wish I would have done c25k, I think that would have helped me gauge where I am better. I ran my first 5k on 3/19 but couldn't run the whole thing. Ran the first mile and some, walked for 30 seconds, ran another mile, walked for about 45 seconds and ran the rest. Even though I've been running for 3 months, I feel like I'm not progressing, like my lung capacity is holding me back big time. Just wanted to say I absolutely feel the way you do...afraid that if I miss a day, I'm going to slide backwards and it's become and obsession.
    Can't wait to read about your 5k this weekend! Good luck!
    Sarah

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  4. Sarah, Thanks for sharing! While I'm sorry you are struggling its good to know I'm not alone in feeling the way I do. My thought-- why not go back and do couch to 5K anyway? You could start at day 1 of the 4th week and go from there. Breathing was one of my main concerns prior to starting. I was convinced there was no way I'd be able to breathe or figure out how to breathe if I tried to run more than 90 seconds. The steady slow progress of the couch to 5K really helped me with the breathing issues. I won't lie, it's still not easy but its not hard either. Its not too late to do the program. Give it a try.
    Regarding the obsession and fear of falling off..I have no advice because I am still right there with you. But you know what? There are plenty of much more unhealthy things to be worried about, aren't there? So, let's just tell ourselves that and keep going :)
    Thank you for good the luck wishes! Keep in touch and let me know how things go for you. Sending good vibes and luck back at you!

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